Banana cake and feeling silly

Friday 27th March 2026

This week has rolled by at a crazy pace, I feel like I barely get to notice what day it is and then it's over. The weather has been super changable recently, I was walking to work on Wednesday and it was legit hailing - like what? On Tuesday I got to go to one of my favourite cafes with my mum - a Scandinavian bakery where they do the best cardamon buns - and then we went on a walk and looked at birds. Being an adult is weird, it's like suddenly my parents are like my friends again, it feels weird not to be fighting them on everything but I'm so glad that era of my life is over. Rest of the week was just spent at work, in which I realised some really obvious things about myself. I like to think that I'm not so bad with people, like I don't completely freeze if someone asks me a question and I can sort of navigate small talk, which is at least way better than I used to be. Due to my recently worked on social skills I had kind of forgotten just how not natural it is for me to be a "people person" in the midst of me pretending to be one. I still find conversation with anyone who I'm not close with pretty hard but I was convinced my act was water tight and that noone could actually tell how much I'm trying to be engaged and say the right things. Spoiler - I was wrong lol. I was talking to a co-worker who I was certain was not very chatty and the conversation dried up like immediately as it usually does. My other colleuge takes over from me so I can do something else so I move on from the situation. I pass by them like plenty of times over the next few hours and they are just chatting it up like the vibes are so friendly and nice and not awkward - I was shocked I had never seen her act like that with me at all. I mean maybe she just does not like me or maybe my small talk is so bad that she just can't face it. It then dawned on me that everyone around me seems to have like way better conversations with eachother than I do with them - I am not the small talk navigator I had once assumed. I feel like when I first started people were more willing to talk to me but it's reached a point where everyone knows the conversation is about to be dry and uninteresting so they don't bother. Like, I'm bored at work too, I want to chat to people! I can pretend to be interested!! I think this is a life long battle I'm not gonna win so I'm happy I have friends I can actually have good conversations with otherwise I think I would go crazy.

In food news, I made banana cake todayy! I used my beloved nibblous recipe and added chia seeds, pumpkin seeds cinnamon, and an extra banana on top :p
I think it went pretty well!

Spring already? I guess.

Saturday 21st March 2026

I guess it's March now? Like what even happend the past few months,, idk man. Anyway I missed the blog and kept wanting to update about things and then forgetting like immediately to update the blog. The biggest most fun thing that happend was I saw the incredible La Dispute in concert and it was actually life-changing. I did write a whole review about it but in short its now in my big 3 of concert experiences - Thursday, L.S Dunes and now La Dispute! It's crazy when a show is that good it actually changes your world view, La Dispute's music is so heavy and depressing but also suprisingly hopeful, it's like directing the energy it takes to experience something painful into something creative and beautiful. Love that band.
I have also been increasingly lucky with watching wonderful and amazing things lately: The Fall, The Testament of Ann Lee, Thelma and Louise (finally !) and Winters Bone to name a few. I forget how good winter is for holing yourself in and watching good movies but now spring is here so I should probably go outside lol. Been listening to less music than usual but mainly Sufjan Stevens, La Dispute and more recently Sword II who are a really awesome newer band.
The weather has been really really good lately which is nice, I think I forgot about the sun for a second there lol. Anway, I shouldn't promise that I'll blog more but I do want to... just lazy. ^.^

So this is the new year?

Sunday 18th January 2026

Happy new year. 2 weeks late. My actual new years was a bit tragic but I had a wonderful new years eve at a pub with one of my best friends. We laughed uncontrollably, drank beer and had a couple attempt to get us to join a health club. Awesome night.
Moving forwards two weeks, I've gotten stupidly ill, went on a gallery solo trip and have gone online shopping crazy. Now I'm feeling much better and I hope to God I stay that way for at least a few months. Then it will be March and life will be better. Been acting like March will be the month for me recently. I keep telling everyone I'm going to quit my job in March so I can convince myself to do it. I just cannot go into another spring with a stress headache and being guilted into doing a managers job for about a quater of the pay. Not this year!
Feeling nervous about revisting last years resolutions so I'm going to wait a little longer. Then I might have come up with some for myself. I usually wait until lent anyway to make changes because I just can't hack the January-energy.
I need to get back to the neo city and keep up with all y'all's page, I miss being inspired by everyone. I've been reading Diana Ren's substack lately (she calls it a blog but I just can't call a substack a blog, i'm serious about this y2k purist shit ok?) it's really good though and is making me think about what I want to blog about more. I'm embarking on a new creative project soon and I would like to blog it so I'm gonna try and make my blogs longer and more detailed i think? I also really need to add some iframes to this page, the side bar updates are causing me physical pain.
My tooth & nail page thing is up but i dont know where to link it. Site map time? AH I dont want to. It feels like giving up. you can look here though.
happy new year again, sending everyone good luck with their websites! don't give up on them lol.